Reading the Newsfeed on Facebook this morning led me to a quote posted on the Life Is Good page.  In honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  today the folks at Life is Good selected these words:

The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

We know this to be true, yet I am still struck by the number of people who are focused on life at the office, looking ahead at the retirement account planning and dreaming of ‘someday’.  I understand the importance of all these things: planning for the future is an important part of creating it, but not at the risk of running out of time to enjoy today.

As many pithy posters on social networks have said, ‘someday’ is not a day of the week.  Nor does it need to be part of your business vocabulary.  We helping professionals are the first to understand that life is indeed short, that nothing beats the value of a moment spent with someone we care about and that when all is said and done, those moments will magically add up to a ‘great life’ that gets reported in our own obituaries.

The Life Is Good story actually began with two brothers, Bert and John Jacobs, who hawked t-shirts on the streets of Boston, even selling door-to-door in college dorms up and down the East coast and out of a small van until things got, well, good for them.

Today the company is approaching $100 million in business, expanding its number of distributors and shipping product to more and more countries, spreading their message of optimism to a planet that needs it now more than ever. Now that is good.

Think about it. What if we explored each area of life and started with a premise that my finances are good, my relationships are good, my health is good, my career is good and so forth?  What would need to happen in order for each of those statements to be true for you?  Your answers can become the foundation for a New Year of prosperity, peace and positive choices.

Can it be good even if it is bad? Let’s face it, not every day will be peachy.  Deadlines will still loom, clients and customers will demand more and more from you and cash flow pressures will still be there.  But how we respond can be good.  And that response can model for others that we continue to learn from our mistakes, and grow from them.

I decided to learn more about the quirky company.  Here is some business advice I took away from my research:

Optimism does work.   These two brothers began their business out of a perceived need.   They needed cash and people needed clothes plus a dash of hope.  Their tireless efforts have paid off.

Good things take time.  It took a few years for it to happen and that’s what we need to remember, too.  Profits will not roll in within the first week of opening your doors.  They will if you have a solid plan, show the marketplace what you’ve got and persist. You are willing to do whatever it takes to make your business successful, right?

Live your message. The Jacobs brothers embody the philosophy their products promote.  Do you?  What does your business stand for and how do you show it? Rectifying the two creates stronger branding and trust with your customers.

Giving back is good.  I was struck by the variety of philanthropic offerings the Life Is Good company embraces.  What causes do you want to support this year?

Counting money is good too.  The quirky drawings have inspired solid profits for the Jacobs brothers.  Obviously we’re all in business to make money, but what the Life Is Good story shows me is that when your desires and intentions match your actions and your share the blessings with others, then success comes.

And then, truly, life is good.

As we sit on the cusp of a New Year, I am observing the patterns we humans fall into when it comes to preparing for something new.  When things have been challenging in work or relationships or finances or life it is easy to want to release the experiences and the memories associated with them.  But when things have been going fairly well, we’re hesitant to welcome something new for fear we might ‘jinx’ the string of good luck we’ve already got going.

So how can we prepare and be ready for the New Year of 2011?  I believe it comes in recognizing the responsibility we’ve accepted for running our own businesses, being the expert in our chosen field and commiting to being the best at assisting those with hurting hearts. 

I call it being response-able.  Are you able to design a New Year that will have you responding to it’s opportunities and challenges with an open heart?  Joyous anticipation?  True trust that all will be well?  If you have a clear vision of where you and your business is headed, you are.  If not, try these tips to assure 2011 is a slice of heaven for you and your team:

1. Take inventory.  What worked and what didn’t in 2010?  How can you create different systems to cope or totally let go of what didn’t support you and your success?  Knowing where you are now can help you see where you need to head in the future.

2. Stop blaming and start claiming your good.  Yes, the economy played tricks on a lot of folks.  Yes, the weather certainly was a little precarious this past winter.  Yes, that emergency surgery set you back a few weeks.  Yes, it was more difficult to get ahold of people than it has been in the past.  Blah, blah, blah.  Let go of the excuses and focus on the good you were surrounded by this past year and take a good look at how you can increase their power at work and home.

3. Define some action steps to measure your success by.  When it comes to the grief support business I think we’re a little too timid.  We trust that those families we’ve cultivated relationships will contact us when “they’re ready” and need us.  This year, make a plan to get more involved in community events.  Get your name out to the public you serve and let them begin to know you on a personal level, besides a business one.

4. Let go of who and what no longer supports you.  It’s time to stop letting old thoughts, people and negative experiences keep you from moving forward.  As you get clearer on what you’re here to do as a grief supporter, you’ll naturally attract those who support your vision.  Already have a strong team of supportive co-workers?  Stop reading this and go take them out to lunch!  Show your gratitude; you’ll all be glad you did.

5. Stay in touch with your vision monthly, not just in January.  Regular review of your 2011 plan will assure that you stay true to your vision.  A Master Mind group or coach can be just the way to get support for your business growth.

Letting go of the old is a wonderful time-honored tradition that signals a New Year has begun.  But the truth is that we can begin again in any moment.  I wish you the best that these new moments of 2011 will offer.  May we all be open to receive the gentle lessons and move forward into service with an open heart, gratitude and creative inspiration.  Happy New Year!

I’m not a perfume kind of gal, but if it came in Eau du Gingerbread, I might be tempted to spray a fine spray over me as I head out each day.

I had the next best thing this past week courtesy of my friend, Heather Grills, who had just returned home from Williamsburg, Va.  Thanks to Heather’s Facebook posts, I got to re-live my own visits to a beloved place, a town rich in history that reminded me of my own: days spent growing up in Norfolk, summers at Virginia Beach and regular school field trips to Williamsburg and Yorktown and Monticello and other historic destinations easily within a day’s drive.

All of those experiences and the memories of my father, his parents and siblings who’s roots were Southern through and through can be summed up in one sensory experience for me: the gingerbread cookies from the Williamsburg bakery.  I immediately requested a cookie souvenir from Heather’s trip and she came through.  Thanks, Heather!

A cup of coffee, the scent of a Williamsburg gingerbread cookie and Heather’s hospitality (that’s her in the photo with the cookies) was the perfect combination for a few special moments of memories. Taking that first bite took me instantly back to the love and support of my Virginia family and all they contributed to my character today.  I saw each face in my mind and said a silent blessing of thanks to them for the life lessons we shared through the years, though they are all deceased now.

There is another cookie that produces the same warm feelings of those on my mother’s side of the family: my grandmother’s sugar cookies that I helped her bake for over thirty years.  Each year I pull out her cookie cutters and recreate the memories of our times together in her kitchen and I give thanks again for each of the powerful women who have influenced my life through the years.

How can you evoke the senses of good memories for your customers and friends?  Perhaps they mention a special flower or their own version of a special food during their consult with you.  Why not send that item or food to them after the funeral as a “thank you” for their business and a token of your own sympathy?  I guarantee you it will be a remembered gift.

Many around the country are grieving the recent loss of Elizabeth Edwards, former wife of politician John Edwards.  Theirs was a relationship full of scandal and intrigue and a lot of folks seem to be crudely obsessed with the details of her misfortune.

Despite the ups and downs of her personal life, Elizabeth Edwards drew strength from a strong circle of supporters that included close confidentes, her children and good friends.  She built a fortress of support for herself in the last days of her illness, even giving a public statement about death and leaving that was poignant and personal.  Coming through was a subtle message about letting go and forgiveness:

“The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered.  We know that.  And yes, there are certainly times when we aren’t able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like.  It’s called being human.  But I have found that the simple act of living with hope , and in the daily act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have  a positive impact on the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious.”

I didn’t know Edwards or any of her family, but I can sense she may have followed these tips for finding peace before dying:

She cut herself some slack when it came to her emtional state.  Who wouldn’t be a wreck over watching your love life take a turn for the worst on national TV?  Who wouldn’t have anger when the person you loved the most blatantly lied to you in public and private for long periods of time?  Yet Edwards managed to be composed and capable when questioned about it.  She understood she was human.

She had an unwavering belief in the hope of something better and focused her energy on finding it.  Edwards denied the power of the media to influence her personal reactions.  She affirmed that support was there for her and that there was a purpose for it all.  She denied the outer world’s impact on her personal reality and understood the only fight in front of her was the one for her life with her children and friends.

She recognized that forgiving someone isn’t about letting them off the hook for their bad behavior, it’s about taking back your own power and reclaiming the life you truly want.  Understanding that letting go was going to give her more freedom to receive a good death, Edwards took control of her life even in her death.  She practiced forgiveness. 

How about you?  How can the powers of hope and forgiveness serve you in your life and your business?  In this season of possibilities and preparation for the New Year, what would you need to let go of so that you can have your own positive impact on the world?

I hate to join in on the rushing of the holidays, but the fact is that they are very much on people’s minds.  Should we try a new recipe or stick with the traditional dishes?  Who’s house are we going to and do we really need to invite obnoxious Uncle Joe?  Well, they never really say that, but they are thinking it!

And that has me thinking about the folks who are facing their first year of holidays without a loved one.  The same questions arise, but with a different spin: Do we talk about him or her?  Shouldn’t we just ignore the big dinner this year?  I’m sure mom/dad/sister/aunt/uncle/grandparent would rather we just forget the holidays and go away, right?

We’ll have the opportunity to explore these questions and find some answers on a FREE teleseminar, 5 Steps to Holiday Survival, this Thursday evening.  I’m the guest speaker on the call hosted by the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. and you can get call-in details and read a little more about me at http://www.nabbw.com/blog/2010/11/baby-boomer-woman-ann-leach/

     Early this morning I watched a video from my teachers Rev. Michael and Rickie Beckwith.  If you’re not familiar with the work of this dynamic couple, I urge you to check them out at www.agapelive.com.    Michael is the founder of the Agape Spiritual Center and Rickie puts the words from God into songs that inspire and uplift thousands around the world.  They both demonstrate the pure love of God in every action.

     But what came through the screen more than the words and music was their presence.  This team is so clear in their purpose, so focused on their sharing, that the audience sees their hearts, feels their love and has an inner knowing that they are in the presence of God.  I myself have felt this pure being-ness as I have attended a couple of workshops given by the Beckwiths myself.

     It had me wondering “are we being who we are?” in the world and for our clients?  As a helping professional who works with people coping with death, there is an even more urgent need to be totally present with the customer and to share heart-to-heart with them in their sorrow.  But do we fully?  Is there a part of us still thinking about arrangements for tomorrow’s service that have to be finalized?  Or concern about a team member who isn’t fulfilling the job requirements?  Or the emails waiting to be responded to.  Life throws a lot of demands at us these days.

     Death doesn’t.  The customer or client’s world has stopped.  They’re not worried about emails or work or even what’s for dinner tonight.  They’re in the moment alright, but it doesn’t feel good.  They need guidance and support, compassion and understanding.  And they want it from you.

     When I was helping my mother die she would beg me to take care of myself.  “You can’t get sick,” she’d say.  “I need you to be healthy so you can help me.”  I knew what she was saying and now I remind you of the same.  Get your rest.  Do your exercises.  Build in time for fun with family and friends.  Go to your spiritual center.  Refresh and refuel yourself for the work you do.  Your presence at this time requires you to be truly present with that grieving heart who needs your assurance right now.  And I happen to believe this is the greatest gift two humans can give each other: the gift of ourselves, in the moment.

Are you feeling the shifts that are happening in the world?  Election results from yesterday’s visit to the polls for thousands indicate big political shifts for our country.  A slowly recovering economy has meant major shifts for small businesses and now the upcoming holiday season is forcing big shifts on families coping with grief; things have changed and will never be the same.

How are you responding as a healer and a helper?  Do you commiserate with what you think to be a helpful tone of agreement when a customer or client complains?  Or do you offer a vision of what you see as possible for the future in a way that inspires and offers hope?

I know, it’s a huge responsibility.  In an already cluttered day of duties plus running and marketing a business plus tending to personal family needs plus serving in the community plus being on call to hurting families, it is easy to make checking off tasks the day’s goal and to forget about your own vision and do what there is to do.

Except that you’re being called to be a light in the world.  My Grandmother use to say “actions speak louder than words”.  If she were here today I would have to respectfully disagree.  I think today more than ever, our actions plus our words make a big impact on those around us.  And we need to use both  to express the highest good.

People are watching you.  Not in a creepy, stalker-like way, but more in a leadership way.  They are watching you to see how you respond to their loss, what you suggest they do to manage it and if you have experienced one like it.   And behind their thinly-veiled reply of “We’re doing okay”, they’re watching you for clues on how to make it through the night.

Now is the time to show up in the world with your heart more open than it’s ever been.  How do you do that?  How would you like to do that even more effectively this holiday season?  How can the Life Preservers community support you in it?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

    I’ve been working on my November goals and just finished planning this week’s actions, as inspired by the book Rapid Problem Solving With Post-It Notes by David Straker and my Facebook friend, Allison Crow Flanigin.

     You might be interested in trying this fun and amazingly effective method for your own business.  Simply purchase some sticky notes, identify your action categories and place one task per note, depending on the color scheme you’ve decided on.  When the task is completed you can recycle the notes for a future week.

     Your funeral home or ministry might include such possible categories as Customer Service, Communication, Teamwork, Outreach, Systems and Financial. Some additional notes might be purely seasonal.  How about adding a category for your  Holiday Memorial Service and keep track of all the tasks necessary to provide your memorial program this year?  Or one for Holiday Hours where you can have upfront and center the business hours of area providers and vendors you work with regularly?  This model provides color to your office and your world and can motivate your whole team too.

     In these busy weeks I am all about simple systems and this one works for me.  Hope it will bring order and swift action to your business as well!

High school and college football is a real big deal here in the Missouri Ozarks. It makes life a little easier on Friday nights. For example, if you didn’t get to talk to a key business contact during the week, it’s no problem. Simply track him or her down at his or her child’s ball game on Friday night and still have the conversation you needed to have. Yes, we’re all behind the home teams and enjoy the sport.

Until that team loses a point or the game. Then we shift uncomfortably in our seats, offer up empty platitudes like “hey, they still put out a lot of effort out there”, which is certainly true, but you’d much rather be celebrating with a pitcher of you favorite beverage after the game instead of crying in it, if you know what I mean.

Lately these Friday nights have had me thinking about my own shift as I move from working exclusively with grieving individuals and step into my true purpose: creating a global movement to help professionals help others in transforming grief into a life-giving experience. That’s what I was doing with my individual clients with much success, but God has guided me to expand to work with those who have an even greater network of customers and clients so that the message can move faster through the Universe. And I don’t like to say “no” to the Big Guy.

So I will move forward with saying “yes” to my purpose and my passion for changing how we see death and how we respond. I hope that you will join me on the journey; it’s already been a ride.

If you are one of the hundreds on my current mailing list, you’ll notice the changes over the coming months. You may decide this new focus is not in alignment with your needs and decide to leave the list. If this happens, I will let you go with my love and blessings…something I could not have so easily done before I really listened to my calling! If you decide to stick around just to see if there is indeed a winning touchdown and to continue cheering the Life Preservers team on, I’d love to have you with me as we create and grow this movement together.

Either way, we’ve both learned a lot from each other about healing the heart, loving no matter what and celebrating the life of our deceased loved one. To me, that’s been a whole experience made up of great team players, cheerleaders, and an open playing field.

Now it’s time to kick off the next chapter of caring.

It was 1964 and the central Illinois funeral home was packed with people.

They had congregated to honor the life of William Q. Leach, humanitarian, war veteran, public speaker, corporate promotions director extradonaire, and beloved father.

I know, because he was mine and I was there.

On that particular day I was ushered into the funeral home wearing my Sunday best. The problem was, it wasn’t a Sunday. This was one of the first indicators that today was different and that life as I had known it, would never be the same. I was eight years old.

To be honest, I got that message just a few days prior, when my mother picked me up from school. She seemed upset, but I was more concerned with reporting the fun and interesting things that had happened in my classroom that day. Mom listened politely for a bit and then cleared her throat.

“I have something to tell you,” she said, pulling off the road. “Daddy died today.”

I glanced at her, wondering if there was more she had to say, but she sat quietly crying and avoiding my gaze. I didn’t know what to do, so I simply acknowledged that I had heard her words with an “okay” and went on reporting my day’s adventures.

Except it wasn’t okay for me; I just wouldn’t really know that until many years later.

Fast forward to the funeral and the casket containing my father located at the front of the room. My mother chose an open casket so that those paying their last respects could see and talk to body of the man they had known and loved.

I don’t remember the viewing but I do recall wondering “why are all of these people talking to each other so loudly when it is obvious my daddy is taking a nap?”

After the service and a slow, boring drive to the cemetery, the crowd came to my grandmother’s home for food and drink. I got to see cousins I hadn’t played with in awhile and my favorite uncle was there, too. I got lots of hugs and the old people asked me about my school work, wondered about my best friend and suggested a nice vacation for the upcoming summer. But the really good part was that nobody seemed to care if I ate an extra cookie or two or helped myself to the cheese dip and crackers.

I felt like I was in heaven.

Today I have discovered that thousands of people have learned the news of a loved one’s passing in much the same way: a few rushed words of non-conversation to “get it over with” and a quick return to the normal world of friends, food and frivolity.

Many of us fear bringing up mention of the deceased out of concern for the griever’s welfare. We don’t want to cause a meltdown or initiate sadness, and we certainly don’t want to put ourselves in an uncomfortable position.

Until now. Coming very soon is my latest book, Come Out of Your Shell: Questions to Start a Death Conversation When All You’d Rather Do Is Clam Up! Readers will be treated to questions that seek to highlight the good and the bad about your deceased loved one and help ease you into a natural conversation that remembers and honors the deceased. And I offer my thoughts on the reasons these questions deserve to be asked and responded to.

Do you have a young person in your life that is coping with loss? I offer tips on how to support them in this week’s issue of In the Flow. You can sign up to receive a copy by visiting http://www.life-preservers.org/ and putting your name and e-mail in the box on the right side of the page.